1. Thou shalt answer all STAT pages within 1 hour
2. Night shift workers shall end their naps at least 5 minutes before the day shift arrives
3. Stand not before the open ET tube, lest the wrath of glob be upon you
4. Thou shalt refuse to perform anything termed “pulmonary toilet”
5. Thou shalt not take the name of one’s obnoxious patients, coworkers or supervisors in vain
6. Thou shalt never rush to fulfill a STAT Incentive Spirometery Order
7. Thou shalt not order Bi-Pap on DNR patients
8. Thou shalt always show up to work with a pen, stethoscope, watch and clean lab jacket
9. Thou shalt always have someone “bag” during circuit changes no matter how fast they think they are
10. Thou shall not answer to “Hey! Respiratory” or otherwise adulterate thyself